Bill Mahar makes me happy.

[epilonious]

I get a bit scared that the NSA might be monitoring my phone calls sometimes, but then I remember that Bill Mahar put it all in persepective for me already here

And finally, New Rule: Stop worrying that the government is listening in on your phone conversation. The person you called isn't even listening to your phone conversation. Any American in this day and age who thinks they're not being monitored is so naive and oblivious, I can't believe they're not working already for the Bush Administration.

Which...which is not to say it isn't creepy thinking of Karl Rove monitoring my emails. Which is why all of mine say the same thing: "Hey, did you hear freedom is on the march, and I quit smoking pot?" "Praise Jesus! - Bill."

But the organization that is conducting these wiretaps, the NSA, is a spy agency different from all the others, in that its only function is to listen. You know, like a husband. You know, like a husband!

And if they need to listen to keep a dirty bomb from going off in Long Beach, then I say, "Listen away." All I ask, NSA, is that you don't judge. And more importantly, if you could screen my calls. In fact, just tell everybody I'm not in. Oh, and if I say something funny during one of my phone conversations, write it down and hit me back with an email so I can use it in my next stand-up special.

So, yes, on the downside, our lives here in America are now an open book. But on the upside, Bush doesn't read books! And really, people, if you're so worried about the privacy of your cell phone calls, stop making them when you're in line at Starbucks!

Oh, please, Americans don't want privacy. They want attention! They'll put a camera in their shower and show it on the Internet! To get on television, they'll marry strangers and eat a cow's rectum, and ice dance with Todd Bridges. They're trying to get on a show called "Big Brother"!

We are a nation of exhibitionists from "me" to shining "me." And what we really fear isn't that someone's listening; it's that no one's listening. This whole country is one big desperate cry for somebody to listen to "listen to me, photograph me, Google me, read my blog!" "Read my diary; read my memoir. It's not interesting enough? I'll make shit up!"

You know that I could go on the Internet right now under my alternate screen name, "CherryXXX69," and get complete strangers to email me a picture of their scrotum. I tell you, this country gave the finger to privacy a long time ago.

In fact, I have reason to believe I'm being videotaped right now.

[Elenloth]

And really, people, if you're so worried about the privacy of your cell phone calls, stop making them when you're in line at Starbucks!

In all seriousness, I'm 99% sure that the 4th Amendment does not protect things like "cell phone calls in line at Starbucks," because of the "expectation of privacy." This is a moot point, because it's impossible to detect when calls are being made in private versus in public, but I thought I'd back up the poster's argument.

[dwath]

His arguments are fundamentally flawed. If you notice, all his comments are focused on people voluntarily giving up their right to privacy. What the government is doing is violating that right without getting any consent from the people. It's like saying people like sex, therefore it's okay to rape someone.

[epilonious]

Of course his arguments are flawed, I just find it the best thing to throw back in the faces of people requesting the whaaaambulance on account of supposed spying. Yes, Bush is screwing it up royal style... Yes, we need to get someone better in office and hopefully someone less disposed to cronyism for icky cronies... but I like the joke and it makes me smile and giggle, flawed tho they may be.

It's also great to throw at people who think the best way to argue is to break Godwin's Law.